Grateful for Goodbye

Everyone hates goodbyes. We avoid them if at all possible and drag them out when they become inescapable. It acknowledges an end and the start of something different…and most times we just don’t believe that the new will be anywhere as good as the old. A goodbye sits like a bad taste in your mouth that is only relieved once something sweet has replaced it. Yet this past week I found that I have always underestimated the power of a goodbye. 

My Great Gramma passed away last Wednesday and being separated by some 2,241 miles, the chances of flying home for the funeral were slim. I was heartbroken over the reality of distance and lack of money to be able to do something and be somewhere that I knew I needed to do and to be. Though discouraged, I knew that by the grace and power of God I would be able to mourn the loss and rejoice in her life, though separate from the rest of my family...however difficult I anticipated it to be, I was prepared to make this journey alone, when God gave the most unexpected gift in the form of a business envelope bursting with enough cash to fly me home. The students and staff here at Semester have given me more than I can ever repay for it enabled me to do what I never thought I’d be able to: to say goodbye.

To be able to look at my beautiful Gramma, to hold her hand one last time, to softly offer a whispered reminder of my unending love; this was a gift I could not have anticipated receiving. And just perhaps, it was the sacrifice the gift required that offers a depth that continues to resound within my soul. Great gifts often demand great costs. Though not always in a monetary sense, an offering is defined by its sacrifice. The cross reminds me of such a gift. How the infinite Creator could offer His only begotten Son as atonement; a love offering in order to redeem us unto Himself. The depth of sacrifice; how unsearchable? Could He not have thought of an easier way? Something that would require less of a cost to Himself? The Apostle Paul reminds us of why in verses19 and 20 of chapter 1 where he writes; "For God was pleased to have all His fullness dwell in him, [referring to Jesus], and through him to reconcile to Himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross."God was pleased. The sacrifice, though great, was worth the cost. Sacrifice adds depth to love.

Saying goodbye is hard. More often than not, it reminds us of the finiteness of this life. I often hate goodbyes. But when there is no chance at goodbye, you realize how necessary they are. They allow for closure. They bring a certain amount of peace. Therefore I write that I am thankful, so thankful, for the gift of being able to say goodbye. It came at the cost of great sacrifice; one that I don't take lightly. Even amidst the pain I rejoice for I have been reminded of so great a love that would count the cost and consider me worth it. The time for goodbyes is limited. The opportunities for sacrifice are confined. Let us therefore love without hindrance, and recognize the beauty in simple goodbyes. 

And for the record...truly the best is yet to come.

Set On Pilgrimage

Take the world, but give me Jesus,

Sweetest comfort of my soul;

With my Savior watching o’er me,

I can sing though billows roll.

Oh, the height and depth of mercy!

Oh, the length and breadth of love!

Oh, the fullness of redemption,

Pledge of endless life above!

Take the world, but give me Jesus,

Let me view His constant smile;

Then throughout my pilgrim journey

Light will cheer me all the while

~Fanny J. Crosby

I’m not a writer. I don’t profess to be. Most people that have blogs are. But I am not. I am a pilgrim. This is not my home.  

This blog is not because I always have something earth-shattering to share or many impressive revelations to impart. Rather, it now exists because of pilgrimage. My Savior has seen fit to lead and so I follow. And even in the personal journey He has called me to, it is not one that is private. I cannot seek the City with foundations, whose architect and builder is God without the power of Christ and separated from those who He has given me. We have been called to live this life together. I want to share those things which He is doing in me, around me, and through me. Not because they are extraordinary in and of themselves, but because they are the result of an extraordinary God.

And so here I stand. At yet another crossroad in the path I have been walking down the past 23 years. As of January, I'll start working with a ministry called Axis. I am overwhelmed at this new opportunity and slightly apprehensive; as I always am when I'm not sure that God didn't mix me up with someone else. This new adventure will take me all over the country and to thousands of students who as of yet are simply demographics on a page but will soon be names, faces, and stories.

Please join me. For while this journey is personal, it is not private. Walk with me. Encourage and challenge me. Hear the stories of a faithful God who calls, and those He calls He equips, and those He equips He will sustain. His grace truly is sufficient. Draw on that grace with me, as we live this life together and answer His call.